hi, assalamualaikum! (dr.fadzilah kamsah way) hehe. this article i found it on one of the web. already forgot. just to share with peeps around. its too long n u may get bored. so plz read this while u are doing nothing :)
Are you afraid of change? Are you afraid of making changes in your life because it might mean that this new way will be expected of you all the time? Are you afraid that you can’t live up to these new expectations?
Moreover, are you afraid of what will happen in this new environment, one in which you may not know what will happen next?
Many people thrive on messy lives and feel more comfortable with chaos than with peace and order, because that is the only way they know. While they may want to change the way they are do things, actually making those changes and getting order to their lives is difficult.
They are used to the safe, familiar environment of rush, mess and chaos.
If you have had enough of this frantic, living in the last minute lifestyle then keep reading. You probably think there is no way you can fix this mess, it’s just too huge a job to tackle all at once.
Relax – the good news is you can change the way you live your life and it won’t hurt. It won’t cause any upheaval because you don’t have to do it all at once. In fact, you shouldn’t try and change everything all at once.
Your life didn’t become this hectic and complicated overnight, so you don’t have to run yourself ragged trying to fix it all in one day.
Have you ever tried to loose a lot of weight all at once? IT didn’t work, right? And I bet you found that if you did lose some weight, a little while later it all came back again – and brought it’s fat little friends too.
The same applies to making changes about how you live your life. Dont’ try to do it all at once. It doesn’t work in the long run.
Take one small step at a time. Just pick one thing, give yourself the chance to take small steps and make small changes. This gives your mind and body the chance to adjust to a new way of doing things. Trying to do it all at once is a sure-fire way to crash and burn, and you’ll wind up in an even bigger mess with a liberal sprinkling of guilt at failure just for good measure.
Giving yourself a chance to get used to each change as it occurs, one at a time, is the best way to make sure these changes stick and become part of your new habit, your new routine for how you live your life.
Pick one thing, and step out boldly with a brave face and you’ll be delighted with the subtle difference that occurs. Gently, gently making positive changes to help you get on top of your struggles wears them down into stress free events.
Once you have one thing sorted and are able to deal with it in a balanced and sane manner, then you can work on the next. Only choose one thing at a time. The rest can wait. You don’t even have to choose the most pressing, annoying issue to deal with first. Make a change to one thing which is not too big.
Very quickly that aspect of your life will be running smoothly, then you can move on to the next, then the next. Always just one small baby step at a time. Never bite off more than you can comfortably spit out.
Once you get a grip on one thing, other things your life will run more smoothly, and then you will feel confident enough to tackle the bigger issues – and you will know how to tackle them by having practised on some smaller issues.
Now that you know how to start to make the changes to straighten out your chaotic life, let’s tackle this issue about expectation.
What are your expectations like? Are they high or low? Are they your expectations of yourself, or the expectations of others around you? Make sure that you have this one sorted.
Are you afraid to change because you don’t think you can keep up the high level of management you imagine having an orderly life to need? Are your standards too high? Do you expect too much of you?
If it’s been a long time since you can remember being organised, do you now think that it is all too much, too hard, and will take too much effort to even begin?
If so, then I you are probably trying to do too much at once. Taking one thing and making one small change is so much easier and less overwhelming than trying to do it all at once.
If you are you afraid that any changes you make will become hard to keep up , and that others will always expect this from you – then think again. Carrying around the perceived expectations of others is a heavy burden, and always an unnecessary one.
Get used to this line of thought when other try and give you their opinions of you: what you think of me is none of my business. Often times what we imagine others are thinking of us is just that – imagination only.
Let go of what others might say and think of you, in every aspect of your life. Realise that nothing you can do can change the way they think, and I would bet that what you imagine others think of you is wildly inaccurate.
Most people are too busy thinking of themselves and their own issues to worry too much about thinking badly of others.
Anyone who is ill-mannered enough to actually let you know what they think of you aren’t worth the time of day. If you have people in your life who give you grief over the way you manage your own personal business, then maybe there is another aspect of your stressful life that needs some attention.
Get a grip on those things that make you frown – relationships and too-full diaries for a start. Free yourself from the stress that comes with the burden of the good opinion of others. It’s not good for your sate of mind or your health. Nor does it help you to live you life in the happiest manner possible.
Most of us have already made some attempts to sort our lives, with varying levels of success. We go along for a few weeks with things in good working order, only to find that all too soon, somehow, we loose the plot and it all falls apart, back to the same hectic, over-booked, messy situations we had before.
Think about why you are in this round of success and failure of 2 steps forward and 4 steps back. Are you afraid that you will have nothing to do if everything runs smoothly? Are you afraid that people will think you don’t do much if they see that everything is in order?
Would you feel guilty or be afraid of free time? Have you got a bit of a martyr deal going here, which allows you to complain about how busy you are and how no one helps you?
Are you afraid that being organised and living an orderly life will make you feel that you have no purpose, nothing to work towards?
These are some of the big reasons why many people do not commit to making changes in their lives. We allow ourselves to be sidetracked and cave in at the first glitch, deciding it is all too hard.
When this happens, just stop, and look at what you are doing to yourself. Often you are doing one – or more – of the following: trying to do it all at once, forgetting about the baby steps or letting what you imagine others think of you to bring you down.
One of the hardest things you will ever have to deal with is making changes in your life, and it’s only hard if you try and do it all at once. Stop, step back and do one thing at a time. Get it sorted and settled then move on to the next one thing. Face your problems one at a time and stop hiding from them.
Once you get started, the rest is easy. So start with one easy issue, sort it, celebrate, then move on to the next. Keep your problems on a list, but you don’t have to tackle the hardest stuff first. Choose one that is not too huge, get it done then move on.
Refuse to ignore the hard things. Get a Grip and make a difference to your life.
"Dan janganlah kamu sekali-kali dipalingkan oleh syaitan sesungguhnya syaitan itu musuh yang nyata bagimu" - Surah Az-Zukhruf 43 : 62 (so, don't be afraid. ignore the hard things and make a change!)
